We largely have hipsters to thank for the “nerd”, “gamer” and “geek” looks coming into style in recent years. In essence it’s another of those fashion trends that, while claiming to be inspired by a particular subculture, reflects nothing of the truth of it. If thick rimmed glasses with fake lenses and a “witty” T-shirt are your idea of nerdy then you’ve got another thing coming. Here are the true raiments of a hardened nerd; be sure you’re prepared for the not so pretty truth…

• Glasses

No empty frames or plastic lenses here. True nerds have eyes long since ruined by hours spent staring at the screen while trying to buy PC components or reading the tiny print in the back of text books. In short, they were wearing thick black rimmed specs before they were cool. However, even these are rather among true nerds; more often than not, the glasses of a real geek are functional but painfully unfashionable. I mean, why waste money on lens thinning?

• Sweatpants

Contrary to popular belief, skinny jeans are not usually part of the archetypal nerd’s wardrobe. Comfort is key, especially if you’re going to spend hours indulging in a gaming or programming marathon. As anyone of any fashion persuasion is aware, while sweatpants may be comfortable they are certainly not attractive. But one of the sacrifices one must make for the sake of authenticity.

• Shaving

Another thing true nerds tend to forego. The cultivation of an impressive neckbeard is key to establishing dominance among one’s nerdly peers. This aversion to shaving is usually seem in the allegedly more elusive female nerd as well; if those pasty pins never see the light of day, what’s the point in defuzzing them?

• Accessories

Most things a nerd wears about his or her person are useful. While you may think that that calculator wristwatch looks cool alongside your multitude of indie rock festival wristbands, a nerd is likely to use it multiple times a day. As well as the obligatory geeky gadgets, expect storage space galore in the form of coats with many pockets, bum bags (or, if you are from the other side of the Atlantic, the rather more amusing fanny packs) and even utility belts in the case of the more hardcore individuals.

• Social Life

Many nerds either choose to (or are forced into) foreswearing this outside the screen, a sad but true part of the stereotype. But wait, I hear you cry, who will be able to appreciate my sweet new nerdy threads if I don’t go outside? There’s always the Internet. I mean, that’s pretty nerdy, right?